Kidz Bop: Jesus Edition

I'm going to have to start reading the fine print at church.

Tonight, a favorite worship leader was scheduled to lead a "Family night of worship".  Nothing unusual about that.  I've been to those before, and it just means it's a night of worship scheduled early enough that parents can bring their kids and still get them home in time to put them to bed at a decent hour.

I found absolutely nothing strange about this, not even when I read that the kids choir would be performing as well.  I thought "How cool!  They'll have the kids on stage to sing a little back up, kinda 'We are the World' style to evoke some emotion.  That's a pretty good idea".

My first clue that I had terribly misjudged the situation came when my husband and I walked in and the atmosphere was more like a carnival than church.  The plus side to this was I got a free pack of grape nerds and a bottled water.  The down side was we were the only ones there without kids, and I had this strange fear that someone would call the cops on us, like they all thought we were there to steal a child.

The kids choir was already on stage and parents everywhere were snapping photos and pointing out their offspring.  Then the music started, and it was only the kids performing the cover of a Steven Curtis Chapman song.  It was complete with dance moves, shouting children, and the music director halting the performance and requesting the song start from the beginning since they had missed their cue.

Then, for the second song, the worship leader came out, and I swear to you it became a Wiggles show.  Sure, the little girl sitting in front of me who kept climbing up on her chair and trying to dance with me was adorable, but the rest of it was terrifying.  Parents weren't adults anymore, they were flailing beings trying to keep track of their kids.  Children were jumping on their chairs, and the choir kept screaming "I am counting on GOD!!!!!!!"

It did give me this one good idea for child rearing: Instead of screaming nonsense when they are angry, I will train my children to scream "I am counting on GOD!!!!!!!".  Then I can say "That's right, you are counting on God.  Why don't you go to your room and think about that."  My children will have a wealth of spiritual riches to draw from, and me to thank for this.  I told my husband this idea as we were getting the heck out of there, and he liked it.  He said "Yes, you are counting on God.  Why don't you go count on God to a thousand." 


I love my husband.